C.J. Foxx Movie House Reviews # 4 The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Well, he did it.  Peter Jackson successfully spread The Hobbit story for almost nine hours of cinematic artistry.  Comparing this film to Return of the King, any of the Lord of the Rings movies, the books, or even the cartoon, it would be unbalanced and useless.  The only pieces that you should concern yourself with while watching The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies, is The Unexpected Journey and The Desolation of Smaug.  Sometimes the term “In a league of its own” is referring to a good thing, but in this instance, it is particularly a bad thing.  If you try for one second to try and relate these movies to the book(s), or the cartoon(s), it doesn’t even come close.

The books are such a huge influence on our youth.  It is a benchmark piece of literature (like The Giver) that every aspiring child should get a chance to enjoy.  Taking a winter weekend in my Hobbit-hole, by the fire, going on those adventures alongside Bilbo and Frodo, those were moments as I heralded as precious moments I wouldn’t trade for anything else.  The cartoon represents pretty much the same.  I remember conning my mother into thinking I was sick, right before school.  Watching TV all day in bed was obviously why I put on this one man audition of “sickest boy in the world.”  That is when I recollect adoring The Hobbit cartoon, finding it worth all the pathetic antics it took to get there.  As you can see, with the favorable memories attached, the bar could be set so high (for me and as well as for others).

Looking at The Lord of the Rings movies and trying to judge by comparison is impossible.  In the mind-blowing success of the LOTR movies, it turned these classic, semi-obscure, literature specimens into giant, mainstream box office killers.  The whole reason why one could make The Hobbit such a celebrated story was because of LOTR films.  The whole reason why you didn’t scoff so hard when you heard that story was going to be stretched over three extended films; it was because of LOTR.  The whole reason why you would bring a character into a storyline that previously never existed (Legolas, which I understand.  Duh, it’s Orlando freakin’ Bloom a.k.a. sexiest thing alive on Middle Earth) was because of LOTR.  So trying to say that The Hobbit movies were as good as Lord of the Rings will just never happen.

What it all boils down to; to all the general movie goers, The Battle of the Five Armies was the best of The Hobbit trilogy.  One could say, after watching all three that they felt stretched out (especially the first two).  Unlike the LOTR, they dragged on at points, and you knew before it transpired that the endings were going to be lackluster.  Being aware that you were going to have to wait all that time for the grand finale war… then… at the end of the second find out that you’ll have to wait to the third for the death of Smaug… the audience had to be so extremely patient (and can’t help think you could’ve done a better job of keeping the attention with only two Hobbit movies) waiting for the payoff. 

In this flick there were slo-mo scenes (maybe a little too much, especially for this fantastical showing.  Maybe not, judge for yourself) but I couldn’t help but think “Jackson, trying to stretch this over three movies has resorted to crazy slow-motion dialogue scenes.”  Albeit, for the most part, it… was… worth all that wait!  The action/fighting scenes were fresh, creative… and there was a slow motion sequence where Legoas runs up falling stones… overall, the portrayal of every passage was beautiful to say the least.  Each character played out their development perfectly, the acting/actors were spot on. 

The beginning of this final chapter was visually awesome.  The entire opening segment, while Bard the Bowman slayed Smaug with the “black arrow”, I was enveloped in utter bliss watching that unfold on the big screen.  It made me fear a mythological creature, like it had actually existed.  I literally took a second to thank the higher powers that humans never had to face something as terrifyingly tremendous as dragons like Smaug.  Then, as we snapped out of it and we were brought down to Middle Earth, I couldn’t help but ponder about the small change made for the film.  In the book, Bilbo after Smaug reveals his weakness, he passes the info over to a bird.  A nod is even given to the bird in The Desolation of Smaug.   While in the novel version the bird is the one who shows the man how to bring the beast down, it is nowhere to be seen in the cinematic version.  I do not know if that is where the term “a little birdie told me” originated but every time it’s said it reminds me of this reference.  During the melee, the bowman coincidentally noticing the weak spot in the exoskeleton made me, in a small manner, wish that it hadn’t been left out.  

The interesting depiction of when Oakenshield battling with his inherited insanity was unsettling and the golden nightmare has never made the burden of wealth seem so unappealing.   As the first of the three armies (the man, dwarf and elf army) standoff at the Misty Mountain, the suspense built and the line of events progressed to a trademark Peter Jackson-CGI-war-orgy.   The oddest stroke happened again and again; when did it become decapitating become such a trend?  The choice of beheading the foe occurred time after time.  If you took out every shot that used slo-mo or had a decapitation, it might have been a full hour shorter.  The one part where Thranduil’s moose picked up about a half dozen Orcs, and he decapitated the lot of them in one swipe of his sword; that was a pretty cool thing to watch (the only silver lining of this chopping the heads off fetish). 

Minor trifles set aside, it was so fun to watch.  I wish the past two packed as good as a punch as this did.  If the first two were in any manner able to satisfy as good as the finale, I feel as if it would’ve helped silence some of the critics, claiming this trilogy was “overkill”.  The final battle between Azog, the White Orc and Thorin was everything you could hope for, utilizing the frozen waterfall for a clever and chilling conclusion.

None of these Peter Jackson films has fallen short of my expectation, and since I have a different standard looking at his pieces of work, I was pleased to see The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies exceeded them.  I give it seven and a half dilithium crystals out of a possible ten.

C.J. Foxx 

Author of Super-Hero Bowl VI
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Walking Dead Episode Review 5.8 Coda

In musical terms, a Coda is a passage that ends a particular piece of music.  It is fitting that tonite’s midseason finale is given this name.

It begins on a brutal note with Rick running “Bob” over with a car and then shooting him in the head. While I love this scene because I am all for Cold-blooded Rick, it just adds to how pointless last week’s ending was since he didn’t even survive past the opening credits.

The good Father Gabriel gets a taste of his own medicine being trapped outside the church facing a swarm of Zombies.  Unlike those he actually left outside to die, he is rescued by Carl and Michone,.  He appears to be finally able to accept his role in the new undead world and to continue the circle, the Washington Gang came back in style actually saving the day.

Dawn stood up to a psycho cop who was berating one of the hospital survivors.  The two have a quick fight in a horribly shot sequence where you can’t really see what’s going on because it’s shot too close, much like the fight scenes in Batman Begins were.  I had to watch it a couple of times to see what happened!  Beth delivers the finishing blow, knocking the cop down the elevator shaft.

We’re about ¾ of the way through the episode before the trade begins. We get some tilted camera shots for some reason, I didn't realize I was watching Battlefield Earth.  The hostages get traded. Everything is good until Dawn tries to muck it up by wanting “Everybody Hates Chris” back. Noah agrees and then Beth goes up to Dawn.  Beth stabs Dawn with a pair of Scissors and gets shot in the head. 

Daryl kills Dawn and the standoff ends peacefully when the former hostage is able to say that is it over.  The Washington gang arrives at the hospital just in time to watch Daryl carry Beth out. Maggie flips out end of the episode.

Well not quite, we also get a coda featuring Morgan who arrived at the church and sees Abraham’s apology note where they’re going to Washington.

Remember when I had mentioned episode title, “Coda“at the top?  That was a serious tell for the outcome of this episode.  Beth sang on a few occasions primarily on her trek with Daryl in season four.  For those without a background in music, there was another more noticeable tell as the “whole let’s bring Maggie to go get her sister bit” was another tell.  Why make the effort to bring her back unless you’re going to do something with it.  There is only so much time the writers have to tell a story and every moment needs to have purpose.  It was rather obvious Beth was going to get it.

I had read an article where Norman Reedus (Daryl) had mentioned that the ending was going to be a tearjerker.  Well, I gotta say there were no tears here because I‘m as giddy a school girl because Beth is finally dead! 

I have been actively rooting for her demise for a season and a half now (You’re next Glenn!).  My venom got to the point where I was excited to see Emily Kinney’s character killed when she made a guest spot on “The Following.” Beth as a character, was a whiney-little-ice-princess who showed no remorse when her boyfriend was killed on a run, nearly got Daryl killed because she wanted to have a drink and had “dear diary” voice-over sequences that made fingernails scratching a chalk board sound more appealing.  She was by far the most irritating and useless character on the series.  Judith is more useful and she’s just a baby!

As James Bond once said: “The Bitch is dead.”

I realize I’m probably in the minority about this but boo hoo. If you want a real tearjerker watch How I Met Your Mother, where they spent nine seasons building up The Mother as an awesome character, then actually delivering when we finally do meet her, only to have her get incurable chick cancer in the series finale, just so that the writers can put Ted and Robin back together again.  The Mother’s was a senseless death, Beth’s was well deserved and I commend the writers of TWD for finally pulling the trigger. About bloody time!

See you in February!

Agree? Disagree? Post a comment below!

C.J. Foxx 

Author of Super-Hero Bowl VI
@CJFoxxAuthor on Twitter
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Walking Dead Episode Review 5.7 - Crossed

The calm before the storm.

The Walking Dead has been historically sharp in these episodes.  Whether or not they succeed in next week’s mid-season finale is another matter. How did they do Tonite?

Tonite’s episode is defined by the two different approaches one civil and the other savage.  The efforts to rescue Beth and Carol are crossed between these two approaches. Rick lays out an extraction plan much like a Navy Seal team would and it would involve the deaths of the enemy after luring a couple of the “cops.” Tyreese still in his pacifist mode, wishes to accomplish this goal through a hostage trade. Daryl surprises Rick by agreeing to this strategy and Rick reluctantly goes along.  

This decision creates a tension between Daryl and Rick, two of the fan favorites. Rick has long since gone into Shane-Land and is fully-equipped to do whatever is necessary to rescue his comrades. I believe Daryl was swayed into this decision by Carol, as evidenced by the fact that he was ready to leave “Everybody Hates Chris” to die last week.  After Daryl gets ambushed by the psycho cop, Rick comes to the rescue and pulls his pistol on the cop. Rick has this look in his eyes that made me think he was going to kill that man, and in fact he should have pulled the trigger.  Instead, we get a bit of predictable and unnecessary drama to build to next week.

There was also the irony when the “cops” asked Rick if he was a cop.  I wonder if Rick even remembers that he was a cop before the cataclysm?

There were some really cool melted zombie effects in this one.  Reminds me of that guy from Robocop after getting the Toxic waste poured on him…

Daryl grabbing a zombie skull by his eyes and using the detached head as a weapon was sick.  Practical effects beat CGI 10 times out of 10.

We finally got back to the Abraham Eugene group.  Nothing really happened here outside of Tara getting on peoples nerves (and acknowledging it to everyone doesn’t excuse it.) Eugene survived his vicious beating and Abraham ended his self-imposed punishment by drinking his water.  Rosita showed a water filtration technique she learned from Eugene, proving that he isn’t worthless. I’m not exactly sure where this is heading going into next week since they are the “B” Plot line right now.  I’m going to say goodbye for now to them since I have little reason to believe they will even appear in mid season finale, See you in February.

Another interesting developing story line is that of character of Father Gabriel.  He’s guilt-ridden after barricading himself in the church and leaving everyone who sought shelter at the church to die outside. He’s essentially a child and I chuckled seeing the Child-Soldier Carl offering to teach Father Gabriel how to use weapons to defend himself.  Carl commenting about the skull structure of a zombie is a subtle touch by the writers.  Like a child, Father Gabriel runs away from the church and faces off with a Zombie. He’s successful in fending it off, but is unable to deliver the finishing blow. Could this be a possible way to bring Morgan back into the picture? He was teased at in the opening episode, so there has to be plans in the works to bring him in.

Back at the hospital, Beth attempts to save Carol only to have Dawn authorize them pulling the plug on her and then have the gall to blame Beth for it. Dawn is an interesting character, who has a look in her eyes that makes you just despise her instantly.  She talks about how people are weak or strong but she is the one who is actually weak.  It’s pretty apparent that she enrolled into the Ryan Leaf School of leadership.  I hope she gets one in the head by Rick, but for some reason I think she’s going to survive.  The writers have created her in a manner where I can see her fate going multiple ways.

Sasha is a complete moron and I know the actress portraying her must have rolled her eyes when she read the last few pages of the script.  Especially when the cop who duped her just happened to be named "Bob," the name of her recently deceased lover.  Weak, weak writing, guys. 

BTW I think I know what she was looking at through the sniper’s lense at the end…

What a gahhh-awful way to end the episode, I’d be ashamed if I wrote that finish. 

If you can overlook the ending it was a C+ episode.  See you next week for the Midseason Finale!

Agree? Disagree? Post a comment below!

C.J. Foxx 

Author of Super-Hero Bowl VI
@CJFoxxAuthor on Twitter
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Walking Dead Episode Reviews 5.6

This will not be a Walking Dead love fest.  If that’s what you want, reach out to all of the other sycophants.  I’m just here to provide an unbiased opinion on what I think about this show, which is based off of the popular comic series of the same name.

I started watching this show at the behest of my lovely sister, one of the millions of fanatics out there. I caught up through Netflix and first observed  the show to bond with my sister.  Some siblings bond over shopping, others through sports, arts, or culture, we bond over zombies.  I had been viewing Zombie movies long before their most recent glory, but my preference still resides with the initial George A. Romero Trilogy and his initial assessment of this show being a soap Opera with Zombies in it.  There is no new territory ‘seen it all before’, just a extension of what has already been done in film.

So we can get caught up I’ll provide a brief recap of my thoughts of the first few seasons.

Season 1 was a solid start.  Introduced the characters developed two strong leaders in Rick and Shane and the tension between them and Rick’s wife Lori.  It was a bit short in episodes but a solid start.

Second season builds off of the first one, we meet some new characters at Hershel’s farm.  Carl, Rick’s son gets shot, Shane turns “evil”, yada yada yada if you’re reading this you probably don’t need a blow-by-blow on what happens in these early seasons.  Great finish, but the big reveal that everyone is infected and will become a zombie err walker regardless of how they die is rather meaningless and carries no weight.

They served time in the third season spending the bulk of it in the prison.  Daryl becomes the prominent number two to Rick and The Governor emerges as a viable antagonist. This was a strong season and superior to the other two except the season finale which was a total cocktease. They built to a climax where the Governor would fight rick and blood would be shed and more people will be shot in the head than in John Wick. But nope, we got the Governor going into an Empty prison, Andrea dying and the only interesting angle, Carl killing an unarmed person.  I nearly quit watching the series because the ending was such a waste.

Season four, much like season three, is a tale of two halves. The whole first half lead to the Governor leading a new group of folks against Rick after the prison gets the bubonic plague and everyone who they brought over from the Governor’s previous crew was killed off solely for plot convenience. The first half finalie was the ending the season three should have been. The second half was slow paced and meandered around while everyone got on the road to Terminus.  The revelations about Michone’s past were good, but she still is horrible at swinging a katana and there were far too many wasted moments and little direction.  That said, Lizzie’s story arc came to a gripping conclusion. 

The best part of this season is the introduction of Abraham and Rosita, two tough as nails soldiers who are safeguarding Eugene the man who could flip the switch and make things like they were. Awesome!  Finally we’re going to get somewhere.  Much like in Planes Trains and Automobiles there were detours. The ending united the groups at Terminus with a savage Rick. The only thing that was missing was, Beth and Glenn getting killed, but I’m still waiting on that…

Season five thus far has been the best of the entire series.  Even the Beth episode was good! Carol has become the female Snake Pliskin, a one woman wrecking crew that saved everyone and an even bigger bad ass than her partner in crime, Daryl. The cannibals were killed off a bit too quick for my liking.  I liked the character Gareth and wanted to see more of him. On the Road to Washington now, we end the last episode finding out that Eugene lied about being a scientist and that Eugene’s mission prevented Abraham from killing himself.

SO Now we come to tonite and what do we get, a Carol episode.  We are just left hanging after the nuclear bomb that got dropped last week. This is a sort of fill in the blank episode. We find out about what happened to Carol after her being exiled from Rick’s camp in the first half of season 4 and realize how much her character has evolved since the series began. She started off being a weak person worn down by years of abuse by her husband, then slowly evolved into a tough woman after enduring the death of her daughter Sophia. She killed and then burned two survivors who became infected with the plague.

But she’s still a vulnerable person underneath the new armor she has created for herself.  She is clearly still affected by having to put Lizzie down and being reunited with Rick’s crew.  She nearly ran once more before Daryl saw the White-Crossed-Car which has lead them back to Atlanta.  Everything keeps getting burned around her and the smoke is a constant motif for her character. Even her hair has a smoky hue!  My problem with tonite’s episode is that not that it told us a few new things about Carol, but the fact that we’ve already seen what happens to Daryl and Carol. It was a filler episode plain and simple.  I really wanted to see aftermath with Eugene but I can see why they didn’t from a writer’s perspective.  I can’t really complain when I’ve done the same thing!

During the “Beth” episode Carol, ends up at the hospital on a stretcher and in a earlier episode Daryl comes back with someone who we know now is Noah or the grown up version of the “Everybody hates Chris” kid.  It defeats the purpose to see what happens if we already know the ending. 

They wrote themselves into this corner by trying to out think the room.  This is a Zombie show and it should be told in a more linear fashion.  It’s starting to take plays from the Lost playbook (including the Virgin Mary in the van that takes a nose dive off the bridge) and that isn’t for the better. The show used to be straightforward. Once the prison was destroyed in Season 4 and the group got separated, the writers really started to explore the ideas of mixing timelines as they told what happened to the survivors afterwards. In that instance, it was a good move, because you didn’t know what happened to the survivors as they crossed paths.  It was also done subtly like with a pan down to see what shoes someone is wearing or a piece of a candy wrapper on the train tracks.  Now, though it has caused more problems.

It ruins the surprise that Carol got hit by a car at the when you see her already being dragged into the hospital on a stretcher with obvious injuries. Now if you didn’t see the earlier scene where Beth sees her being brought in, you’d actually be shocked seeing her get hit by a car.   It really comes down to what makes someone want to watch the next episode or read the next chapter.  Do they want us to have our theories about something that has already happened and then have those theories confirmed or denied after being filled? Or do they just want to tell a story where and surprises are lurking around every corner and we see them as they happen?

What do you think?

C.J. Foxx 

Author of Super-Hero Bowl VI
@CJFoxxAuthor on Twitter
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Mantra of the Foxx #2: Peter Parker's Silver Metal

Foxx's Log,

Entry Num 96 dash 7

If you are going about your day, and perhaps you let out a fart.  If then you say to yourself: “deep down, from the depths of Morodor…” then we need to exchange information.   After that you will be hunt down.  My theories are right; there’s a clone out there!  Made by the government, with telepathic powers and you steal my dreams, feeding them to dragons.  Tread lightly my friend, I’m on to you, and there is nowhere you can hide.

On to business; I trust you are doing fine.  I hope that your… Iron-Man has found his arc reactor, I hope your Superman finds a planet that doesn’t eventually blow up… and I hope your Peter-Parker finds your Mary Jane Watson.  If the last line went: I hope your Peter Parker finds your Gwen Stacy, it wouldn’t fit, or made of as much sense (…or even less sense, due to your perspective).  Mary Jane is pop culture’s most famous silver metal (a strong argument could be made for Ron Weasly).  Yeah, I said it.  Peter Parker wanted Gwen, he couldn’t have her (due to Mr. G. Goblin), he settled for Mary Jane.  For years after, Mary Jane was the numero uno comic book mistress.   The connection between fans and the “get em’ tiger” girl was legendary, only being cemented by the success of the Spider-Man movies and cartoons a decade and a half ago.  She became the beautiful, moderately famous actress (some may say a little self-absorbed…) girlfriend all comic book nerds dreamt of swooning. 

The story of an iconic hero losing his love to the arch nemesis, while still being tangled amidst one of the most iconic back story webs, would at first glance, make Ms. Stacy  an ideal poster girl for the “damsel-in-distress” role (a title owned solely and supremely by Ms. Lois Lane).  Until recently, (basically, the last pair of movies) the recognition of Gwen was at a somewhat minimum, it was like Marvel, in the beginning, handled the general fan with kid gloves.  They waited for them to get a little more familiar to the protagonist and when they were deemed “mature” enough, Marvel unveiled the truth.  This is what Peter really had to go through all those years ago.

Comic fans were used to Gwen for a long time.  Accustomed to her, she was the constant, steady girlfriend.   Years went by before the shock of her death.  All fans, no matter how dedicated, had to wait a long time to see those line of events to unfold on the big or silver screen.  Before that, in Spidey’s “back in the day” MJ was the quirky, cute friend you enjoyed the company of but never took seriously.  In no way are any of these observations complaints, I merely think it is interesting the turn of events that led us to this moment in the post-Gwen/ Mary Jane/ post-post-Gwen/ pre-Mary Jane era.  Gwen was cool, humble, down to Earth, a science major…   Simply put, a blonde beauty with a big brain; the full package, his one true love.  Which leads me to:

#3 (continued from last post) Collect and Respect

Bringing it all together, the full package, making many into one.  You’ve already jumped the hurdles and built your lead.  Just cross the finish line.   We gots to be able to graduate, show that you know how to complete things.  Turn your diary entries, your poems written on napkins, the back of a Rasta-bands handout flyer, the blogs, your dream journal, and so on.  Bring it all together, scan them all, cut and paste, make it something you can deliver to the masses.  This might be the most unsuspecting step in the creative process.  Just think of the track metaphor made earlier.  How many times have you watched a clip of a track runner tripping at the finish, or letting up too early, just to lose that giant, for-sure lead?  I myself must’ve seen more of those than of actual record breakers.  Every person ever has and is sitting on a pile of content every person ever would want to read about.  Get it?  It’s only a matter of having that extra commitment to excellence, going that extra mile to get it out there.

Stay tuned for the final chapter: Mantra 3: The Black Album, and remember, you cannot escape the sun!

C.J. Foxx 

Author of Super-Hero Bowl VI
@CJFoxxAuthor on Twitter
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C.J. Foxx Movie House Reviews #3: Sin City: A Dame to Kill For

After nine years, the reward was definitely not worth the wait. Walking out of the theater 

one felt like Kurt Russell in Tombstone, shouting “No” repeatedly when he was about 

to kill Powers Boothe, who ironically enough plays the Senator Roarke in this fall from 

grace of a film.

The most obvious struggle was structural, or plainly put, the story telling. The point 

of view was passed around and intertwined enough times to be obviously bothersome. 

It was too much juggling between the characters letting them run wild throughout the 

storylines. As a universal crowd favorite, Marv was all about in this picture and was 

rarely off camera, almost to a detriment. Considering that he was executed during the 

conclusion of his first appearance in the comics (and in the first movie) adding to the legend, it 

was a trial by fire sorting out his timeline before his infamous setup with Goldie.

As one tried to keep track of the storylines, he was always there creating seemingly unnecessary 

connections between all of the leads. In the first Sin City, Marv used revenge, the loss of 

a love to justify killing his way to the top of a criminal syndicate. The plot of the second 

was pretty much the same, but this time Marv’s reasoning behind taking out the trash... 

he had nothing else better to do. 

After the first segment that starred Joseph Gordon-Levitt as the fun and lucky gambler 

Johnny, you were left with the trademark Frank Miller/Rodriguez-Tarantino feeling of 

awaiting the character’s grand finale. 

Marv takes the reins again, trading an extraordinarily, insanely amount of inner-

monologue with Josh Brolin as Dwight (I’m not kidding, Alba, Brolin, Gordon-Levitt, Willis

and Rourke through the whole entire movie, inner monologue. Not one second of 

silence, it’s just all of them talking to themselves). We don’t see Johnny again for an 

hour. 

Anthology stories like this work better when the stories are told from their beginning to 

conclusion, one at a time. Examples including Peter Jackson’s films, the aforementioned 

Tarantino films, Kevin Smith’s films, even shows like How I Met Your Mother executed 

these same methods of storytelling with better precision and creativity. Miller and 

Rodriguez’s most recent execution, attempting to match that kind of longevity in the box 

office, it was quite shoddy. 

On the plus side, the acting in this film was solid (for the most part). Eva Green was a 

great choice as the femme fatale Ava Lord. Mickey Rourke had a blast as Marv. Clive 

Owen was another reason why the bar so set so high in the first, but the Dwight and Marv 

team-up scenes were enjoyable to a certain extent. 

Giving Jessica Alba the keys to her own segment towards the back end was exactly what 

you think could go wrong in that situation. Her nudity was not a must for the film to 

succeed... but in contrast to the amount of skin Ava Lord displayed, it seemed out of 

place considering Little Nancy Callahan’s profession, and her “fall into darkness.”  

For portraying a seductive dancer, in an “R” rated film, with other scenes that went so far, 

Alba wore a lot of clothing. Not a complaint, just another weird aspect of the film. 

FINAL WARNING: The voiceovers are relentless and too many times they spelled it 

out as opposed to letting the actions of the characters speak for themselves. While the 

voiceovers were a prominent feature in the original it feels really overused here.

The look of the picture felt just like a continuation, no differences from the original. 

The now repetitive accenting of the colors felt too played out this go around, overused it 

added to the durative feel of this picture. 

This was an aggravatingly disappointing follow-up to one of the classic comic book films 

of all time. It dragged like a inchworm albeit it was only a hour and 45 minutes (and the 

film resolved its best storyline by the hour mark). I give it four and a half batarangs out 

of a possible ten.

C.J. Foxx Movie House Reviews #2: TMNT

Oh geez, where do I start.  With the negative rap sheet this film already owns, it will be hard to argue against the aforementioned critiques.  Especially because most everything you hear about this movie is true.  There is no real original content, plot holes galore, annoying moments involving forced references, and countless let downs.

Now that I have joined the masses, the masses with a valid point, I would like to say “It wasn’t that bad” and “It was fun, and I think it’s perfect for children.”  This was officially, and absolutely nothing but a retelling of the story.  Something that has been addressed at length throughout superhero movies and even throughout history:  all original stories have been written, we just recreate them all, putting new twists or “Shyamalan’s” in them.  This essentially took the cake.  Do you remember when you were younger (before the booze) watching a movie?  A movie that you looked forward to, maybe you watched the television show and became a fan.  (Bear with me) after watching and liking the cinematic version enough to say “it gave the show justice” and “the special effects were decent, I enjoyed the action and jokes.  Not the best film but I can’t wait to talk about it amongst my peeps.”  Then the next day at school the kids are taking it to town, tearing it apart, making a good argument.  Whether or not you grow some and stick up for it or not, is not the point.  Feeling you had a connection with this flick, and the general populace disagrees with your decision, that’s where I see many younger folk may stand on this encounter (Or, at least that’s what I may have assessed as a younger me).  Warning: If you flash forward ten years, in retrospect you might realize that those people were right and or feeling possibly cheated.

Before I return to thrashing this TMNT, I will bring to light some of the good points.  I like to form these type of reviews in what I call… a “crap sandwich” model.  The thing about a “crap sandwich” it has to consist of something different in the middle… something positive, or its just three layers of crap (Basically, I like silver linings.  In some instance they are incredibly hard to find.  This time, it wasn’t that difficult).  

The part I thoroughly enjoyed was the concept: flashbacks of the turtles through an actual upbringing, or childhood.  The idea of a half-rat half-human raising four son-turtles in the sewer does raise many humorous, interesting possibilities.  Other versions of the narrative, didn’t make as much of a focus on it, or don’t show as many stages of their life.   Watching a young Michelangelo jovially dancing to some old-school Gwen Stefani (luckily, there’s no new-school Gwen Stefani.  But seriously, that song is a benchmark for that time period [and is featured in the leaked Deadpool test footage].  I understand it because, Holla Back Girl wasn’t the worst song and it… was… everywhere.  At least everyone’s forgotten about that mind-numbing Crazy Town, Butterfly song.  Anyway…) it helped dive into the backgrounds of the individual personalities. 

In this new installment of the turtles they have never been so identifiably different from each other, even in their physical form.  For the most part, before this one, if the characters took off their masks no one would be able to tell the difference between the four.  A little more like the comics, the multiple team members and their recognizable range in personality was a major emphasis.  Reading an article some time ago (I want to give props, but can’t remember where or who.  I think it was on CBR) they discussed the garb each character sported and how it was a little excessive.  It was even more than expected, combined with the on-screen personalities (Donatello’s cliché dork stuff was the best if I had to choose)

The new Shredder is what I would expect the Shredder would look like in a 2014 TMNT movie.  As result of the new hero’s image and modern-ass-kicking ability, the next logical progression is “pumping up” the villain.  Supplying him with a new arsenal, I actually didn’t mind the small liberties stretching all the way to the Shredder’s weird magnetic blades. 

Through the grapevine, I heard grumbles about the April O’Neal’s (or Megan Fox) part, but this as well was a non-issue.  In my oh-so-humble opinion, no problem with this movie ever involved her.  There is one exception, not directly related to her.  When Fox meets the turtles for the first time, there is all this unnecessary jumping and shouting, kind of an awkward meeting.  Then April faints, which reminds me of the 90’s film (who did a better first encounter scene). This faction was done poorly and was unbelievable to a certain level.  I don’t believe it was Fox’s delivery but it had a strange taste.

With a more mature subject matter growing in kids movies, I had hopes they were going to make a more gruesome, gritty version, possibly like the comics. 

Side note: I didn’t know if it was intentional, but in the comics, Raphael (in a Days of future Past feel) has to use time travel to avoid the slaying of his three brothers.  In this timeline Raph loses an eye and wears an eye-patch.  In the film, during one of the flashbacks, one of them as an adolescent, is wearing one (I think it was Raphael, no matter what it reminded me of the comic). 

Instead, it was one of the most family friendly showings I’ve seen in a while.  Unlike the new comic movie trend, the new Ninja Turtle did not push that envelope.  Possibly hindering it, the fighting scenes and “ninja” aspect (along with some other dynamic aspects) left a little to be desired. 

This leads me to the biggest conflict I felt existed within, the Splinter situation.  Although this is not the direct issue, I am under the impression that the original back-story (the one obviously recreated in the cartoon) Splinter is a man turned rat.  In all of the movies he is a mutated rat (he transforms into a really cartoonish rat in the newest one).  I understand, it is much easier to tell that version of the story, but the idea that the man-rat just found an instructional karate book, and taught all of his students… that was a little difficult to endure. 

Once again, my ignorance may be my downfall, was there a cinematic ban on Rocksteady and Bebop?  I was expecting looking for a reference for even a future appearance or even a nod to them which I did not identify.  Being two of my favorite all-time villains/henchmen, I have always wondered that.  If they do incorporate them in the next one, that will be a challenge, adjusting their backstories to fit. 

I repeat, this movie is ideal for children and there was just enough entertainment to get the adults through to the end.  I give it five and a half gamma rays out of a possible ten.

C.J. Foxx 

Author of Super-Hero Bowl VI
@CJFoxxAuthor on Twitter
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C.J. Foxx Movie House Reviews #1: Guardians of the Galaxy

The first hour of “Guardians of the Galaxy” was on par with any other good sci-fi flick you could watch.  The crescendo Marvel had skillfully constructed finally has come to an apex.  I wondered if this fell flat on its face according to my expectations, would people own up to it?   Or, would they figure they were in too deep, buying all the merch, buffing up on all the books even the original GOTG (before the re-boot, where none of the cinematic characters existed).  All of those posts, all of the retweets… quoting “I AM GROOT” at every plausible scenario.  Even if it was a horrible production, owning a story that made no sense, had unlikable characters and made no attempt to adhere to the canon already established, jaded fans and Marvel would continue cramming this down our throats.

Fortunately, this was none of that.  The movie was a spoonful of sugar enveloped in honey and did I mention the spoon was made of licorice.  I may have gone into this picture with the wrong attitude but I couldn’t help but think of one thing:  After Marvel’s (and DC’s) initial success and their reign had covered multiple generations.  There was a time and place where they took a leap of faith that led us to this movie. 

Figuring their younger audience had grown into adult readers, an industry had fully taxed all the original storylines.  The answer was to use previously explored genres (like science-fiction, fantasy, horror, detective stories, etc.) and make a mash-up of grander sorts, a more experimental approach.  Things of this nature were incorporated into the stories before, but until this point it wasn’t as strong as a focal point.  In Marvel, the original Guardians of the Galaxy, Silver Surfer, Dr. Strange, Ghost Rider, The Secret Defenders, The Mighty Thor, Deathlok, S.H.I.E.L.D (or Strange Tales), The Days of Future Past, the whole 2099 chapter, etc., are some prime examples.  The reason why I’m giving this half-cocked history lesson is because… it was successful.  It was successful then and it was successful now. 

That same decision retained the older readers, creating a broad spectrum of ideas for younger readers to choose from while supplying the story arcs for years after, but in my opinion, the most important was creating a higher echelon of evil or super-villain.  The most identifiable change in this transition: the standard of what a comic book hero was.  Spider-Man, Iron-Man, The Hulk, Fantastic Four, The X-Men were built on the traditional bullet-points of what a hero stood for: extraordinary things happening to ordinary people.  Introducing heroes as a group of aliens that flew spaceships saving the galaxy instead of earth, Norse gods from another realm protecting our way of living, protagonists using dark magic or sorcery for good, these characters helped make the modern mold of hero.

Marvel relied on the same savvy formula again, the same leap of faith.  Guardians of the Galaxy, like Thor, was a linchpin in making this whole new Marvel-Cinematic-Universe/Avengers initiative work.  Having to satisfy not just the fans that have already jumped this hurdle but fast-tracking a whole new movie-audience through it had to have been a tall order.  In the midst of watching, I felt they passed that test with flying colors, broadening the horizons of the novice to moderate fans.  At times the story glossed over, revealing insight on the Celestials, the Nova Corps, and a background to the Infinity Gems.  Fans of the original content may have wanted a bigger segment dealing with their importance of these items, but instead was met with a plethora of good jokes and enjoyable characters.  The story was predominantly centered around the shipmates and their meeting. 

The importance of FRIENDSHIP, and none of them had any friends until the GOTG formed concept wore me down a little bit.  Drax was a family man with a wife and child (he talks about it a skillion times in the flick, I guess understandably) until they were murdered (basically, a cosmic version of the Punisher) and had no friends, killing his way to the person who had robbed him of his family, Ronan the Accuser.  Rocket, a spliced science experiment with an inferiority complex that only rivals Napoleon.  His biggest claim to fame was “escaping twenty-two prisons” with Groot, one of the rarest most undecipherable aliens.  Gamora, a killing machine, abducted and trained by the enemy.  On the run and as a fugitive, she separates herself from her past, corrupted life, you guessed it… she’s alone on her voyage.  Peter Quill (or Star-Lord): as a child abducted by aliens, trying to find himself, going through an identity crisis every second of the film.  Through the uproar created by a discovered gem, a series of events unites the rejects.  Individually they are extremely flawed and vulnerable, together they’re a lovable, quirky family.  I get it.  I just think they stretched a little too far for the family friendly grab.  Trust me, they mention friendship, being friends and an honorable death, alongside friends one too many times.

The most enjoyable scenes involved the absolutely light-hearted, free flowing, funny dialogue between lovably crafted characters.  The movie gives proper homage to each individual and in exchange for a detailed, elaborate structure, heroes and villains told their stories through natural, unforced, and hilarious interactions. 

Oddly enough, when it contrasted the family friendly aspects, the movie was at its best.  There was a moment where Groot, in a violent outrage, savagely impales a whole platoon of soldiers and thrashes them around.  The rest of the team stops in their tracks.  They observe the tree monster with a prolonged caution, amazed at the brutality…only to be met with a giant childish “Groot did good?” like grin on his face (in case you didn’t know by this point, Groot doesn’t talk, except when he repeats “I am Groot.”  Best job ever: spend half a day in a studio recording three words.  Thanks Vin, the checks in the mail). 

Peter (who establishes himself very early as the captain, or the Han Solo of the group) and Rocket (the snarky co-pilot) could be viewed as a pair of bad parents, babysitting three socially dysfunctional aliens (Drax, Gamora and Groot) constantly getting themselves into superhero hi-jinks.  During these giant cataclysms the subtext was coated in a palatable chemistry disguised as bickering between the actors.  At one time Rocket, as a joke during the melee, he tricks their captain into stealing a prosthetic leg from an amputee.  The constant running joke, and marketing campaign, was that they were a bunch of “A-holes.”  Star-Lord leaves an immature, last-resort message with Nova Corps.  The viewer gets to watch the message being delivered through the ranks, it reveals along with other stuff, Star-Lord admitting to be an “A-hole” but not being a “100 % Dick.”  As the Guardians battle and peril is faced, Nova Corps is nowhere to be found.  They predictably arrive at the last minute to help.  Then Star-Lord shouts in delight, like it had meant the world to him “They got my dick message.” 

The jokes were a little racier than I first thought they would be, but in my subjective opinion it was tastefully done.  After the initial conclusion and as the after credit ending concluded I wondered what part the others will play in the Infinity Gem saga.  I also began to hope the next puzzle pieces, or Phase 2 in this modern universe will be as efficient in its adaptability and its cleverness.  I give it seven lightsabers out ten lightsabers.  

C.J. Foxx 

Author of Super-Hero Bowl VI
@CJFoxxAuthor on Twitter
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Mantra of the Foxx #1: In the Beginning

Foxx's Log,

Entry Num 78 dash 2

If someone you're around says "people don't read books anymore..." un-friend them.  Do it now! (I will wait)  If they're not your friend, a kick, punch, jab.... any kind of physical abuse towards them should do.  There has never been a better time to be a reader or writer of literature.  E-books, print-on-demand, plus the sheer amount of places/sites selling quality, cheap back issues is just to name some of the newer ways for a society to absorb potential masterpieces.  Getting a book out there in the world, or finding past volumes has never been easier.

On the artist's side of it, it seems a majority thinks the worlds (like in the music industry) have become too blurred together.  Anyone can "clickity click" their way to a 50,000 word book and publish it on Amazon.  After making an account (if they don't have one... but seriously, who doesn't already have an Amazon account?) they would set the price and officially accomplish what could never happen twenty-five years ago: being a legit published author in a few easy steps.   Say what you want, that is both awesome and scary to a lot of people, especially in the publishing biz.  The ability to get around the traditional publisher and access sites with free, raw, downloadable content is a threat.  Sure you can still go the old fashioned route using strictly brick and mortar publishers.  They're great too, but some may describe it as a "crap-shoot" or "winning the lottery", also discussing the ability of someone else owning the rights to your work.  It does drive more to self-publish these days.  Thus far, it's been exciting to say the least.

First thing's first, you gotta figure out what the "eff" you like. For some of us it is difficult, others it comes easy.  We know exactly how to tell a story.  We pay the sixty-two cents at the ticket booth, the imagination ferry takes us across the Delaware, and we meet the Three Stooges for three-on-three basketball.   Some dudes/chicks maybe get lost on this trip and never come back (spooky).  If you are still reading this, get ready, you are going to have so much damn fun.  Just continue reading this blog and read the recommended books... the joke we call life... like everyone, you won't get it, but it will be a whole lot more enjoyable.  Oh, yeah!  I feel it!  (I just slapped myself)  Yes, that's it!

It's the said idea that spurred you into writing or reading in the first place!  Not all of us are like Ralphie from "A Christmas Story."   Some of us just don't know what the "eff" we want for Christmas.  C.J. Foxx is a name, a symbol for small community.  One that dives into the art of communication… we record ideas, find ways to explore the realms of comics, film, literature, television, and with some extreme interest in American sports.

Mantra Part One

#1 What do you Like to do?  What is your kink?
Pair two things together you adore in life, the things you can stay up all night divulging to your teddy bear or diary.  As you could tell the topics previously mentioned are a broad net. The top two on our list if it came down to it would be comics and sports.  Progressive conversations, we draw parallels between any genres brought to the table.   It has already been unifying to groups that wouldn’t normally mingle.
My book: Super-Hero Bowl VI is more than a merging of our two biggest passions, the story has hints of Greek Mythology along with classic to modern movies.   It helps give it layers, undertone and or enhance the ability to encapsulate.  It’s a good habit to you cycle through your resources, when you’re going along switch to avoid being stagnant, or possibly switch to get yourself out of a rut.  When you're writing about something it is paramount you keep your head down, keep a’ truckin’ and don’t underestimate the moment.  Having a good idea and not writing it down is like getting a cut and waiting too long to wash it out.  That’s how all this started, pieces, a collection of people weaving sentences, paragraphs into one full-length adventure story.

#2 Interaction is the Best Inspiration
Consider digging deep into your memory (Carlton) banks and into the events that have transpired.  It can also be a way to break through the dreaded “block.” (Blocked! Blocked!) Is there something you wish you could have done differently or some fork in the road you wish you reexamined?  No matter what, keep doing what you’re doing.  Incorporate it however you can, even if it doesn’t make sense at the moment.   Edit the finalized product in the morning, when you’re sober and have a clear(er) mind.  The main thing is that you catch that fleeting moment.  Maybe some drug fueled night ruined your life, and it makes you want to construct something.  Happens to all of us… every night… and day… and every lunch break.  No judging here, we just want the opinions from a few good men and women.

Stay tuned for Mantra part two: the Mantra Reloaded: Mantra Returns: Godzilla Vs. Mantra: M2… you get the point and remember, you cannot escape the sun!

C.J. Foxx
Author of Super-Hero Bowl VI: The Bulbheads Vs. The Advancemen

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